On Friday August 2, Pierre and I were sitting in the living room having coffee. We were both off because we were planning a weekend trip with the dogs. Our plan was to pack the car once we were done our coffees and hit the road. But life had other plans. The phone rang, but I didn't recognise the number. When I picked up, I realised it was our social worker. I knew our papers had FINALLY made it to our USA agency on July 8th (the agency had emailed to let us know), so I figured she was just letting us know the same information. So when she said, I'm calling with a match... I was speechless. I know people use the word speechless way too often because I think it was the first time I was truly and actually speechless. I could not talk. The words she was saying didn't make any sense. We weren't supposed to be matched for another year. When I was finally able to say something, all I could mutter was "How?" She proceeded to tell us our profile had been presented along with other families and the birth mother chose us. How did we even get presented, I asked. It turns out matching isn't always about first come, first served. It's also about matching the birth mom's experiences, needs and desires to ours and based on what we had indicated in our profile, ours truly reflected what was best for the birth mother and her child. I was in shock. She said she had to come over to officially present the match and have us sign papers... oh, and decide if we wanted to proceed (uh, hells yeah!) She had only received the call that morning and could only make it to our place at 3:00 pm. Time was of the essence because the baby was due on August 20th! It was 9:00 am at that time... and silly me could only respond, "but we're going away for the weekend". Obviously this news wasn't registering in my brain. Screw the getaway weekend, Danielle!!! You're getting a baby! And the baby will be here in less than 3 weeks!!
I hung up and told Pierre the incredible news. We both just stared at each other. We didn't cry, we didn't scream, we didn't jump up and down in the air like we were supposed to. It was all so surreal. It was almost scary to get excited... we'd been let down so many times that we remained guarded. We had never aloud ourselves to hope, to dream or to plan so we were so ill-prepared! Not long after, our social worker called and said she would be coming over as soon as possible. When she walked in, she hugged us and you could see the sheer excitement on her face. I'm sure she thought we didn't seem excited, but it was like it was a dream. She took out the papers and started telling us about our baby girl... yes, BABY GIRL! Suddenly, it was starting to sink in. There really was a baby and it was a girl! She told us about the birth mother and birth father, their background, medical history, etc. We just took it all in. Then she asked us if we wanted to proceed and it was a huge YES from both of us. We signed the papers and that was it. She told us to communicate with our provincial facilitator and our US agency and they would guide us the rest of the way. Oh, and by the way, baby isn't due on the 20th... she's due via c-section on the 13th! Gah! We had just lost more than a week!
That's when the panic set in. We had 11 days to get ready for a major trip and a newborn! Once we called our provincial facilitator, new issues arose. They had not received our Part 1 immigration documents. I had no idea what he was talking about! We have papers to complete? What is happening? Oh, and Canadian immigration employees are on strike. Wah!?!? What does it all mean? We were referred to the CIC website and asked to complete the required forms... BUT, there are two routes you can use and our facilitator was not allowed to tell us which one to use. We ran around and panicked for much of that first hour. We were finally able to decipher the online legal babble, choose an immigration process and complete the paperwork and hoped for the best. Then, we did the craziest thing... we decided to go away for the weekend anyway. This was going to be our last trip sans enfant and if all are friends were telling us the truth, we had better recharge our batteries before baby gets here. So that's what we did. We left the province, drank beer, hung at the beach and hiked beautiful trails. It was just what we needed before the mad rush began.
By Sunday afternoon, the mayhem had begun. We were googling flights and hotels, baby carriers and car seats, baby bottles and formula. What did people do before technology existed. Before we left for our getaway weekend we had made a pact that it would be a technology free weekend and we wouldn't spend it panicking about what we had to be done in the short amount of time. We mostly stuck to our pact, checking emails and phone messages sporadically, but for the most part it was a tech free weekend. We also made a list of what we needed to do before the big day. So far, we've been great at crossing things off. It's amazing how much panic is a motivator!
That brings us to today. We have 4 days until we leave for the US and so far we have flights booked, accommodations booked, car rented, a baby seat and lots of baby essentials which our families and friends have been so amazingly gracious to offer us. We've told our families and select friends and the reactions have been heart warming. More than a few tears of joy have been spilled over the last few days. Every time I share the news with someone who knows our story, I get goose bumps. People are just overjoyed with the news. It really is absolutely beautiful!
As much as there is excitement, there is also fear. Of course, every new parent has fears, but adoptive parents have additional fears. Will the birth mother change her mind? What if she sees us and doesn't like us? What if she didn't get enough prenatal care? What if she omitted some crucial information about her pregnancy? Will something go wrong with immigration? Even with all these fears, I'm surprisingly calm. Let's hope it stays that way!