Through this long journey, there is one person who has been my rock for as long as I can remember: my sister Christine. You see, my journey to parenthood didn't begin when we started trying to get pregnant or even when Pierre and I first met... It began long before that time when I was in my early twenties. I had always wanted to be a mother and my plan seemed simple enough: meet a boy, fall in love with boy, marry boy, have many babies. Although I thought I was on the right track, things didn't exactly happen that way, so when I found myself single at 28, I was mourning the loss of family more than the loss of a relationship. I think that's when my sister became my best friend. Sure, we had always been close... In fact, I was quite close to both my sisters, but things seemed to change in my late twenties.
To understand our relationship a little better, you need to understand the dynamics of our family. I'm the youngest, then it's Christine, followed by Suzanne and my oldest sibling is my brother Michel. You'd think it would make sense that we're close since we follow each other in birth order, but an entire decade separates us. I think since there is only 11 months between Suzanne and Christine, my parents had a moment of panic and closed the factory for a decade. :-) We didn't grow up playing together. When you think about it, when I was 6 years of age I was discovering Barbie dolls while my sisters where discovering boys and make-up. It obviously took a long time before we had anything in common. However, I always looked up to both my sisters and they had both been a source of inspiration. Everything I experienced they had experienced before me and where the ultimate guides.
So when my personal life seemed to turn on its head in my late twenties, Christine is the one who helped me find a new apartment. She's the one who helped me move. She's the one who told me things would get better. She's also the one who listened to me when I called, more than once, from Nova Scotia in a panic. I can still remember one winter afternoon I called her from New Glasgow. I had just moved to the small town after living in Halifax for five years. I was down, I didn't know anyone and I wondered why on earth I had accepted a job in the middle of nowhere! I remember our talk like it was yesterday. She listened to me and helped me come up with a plan to make things better. It was because of that conversation that I stuck it out and ended up meeting some of the greatest people I've ever known.
When I went back to school to become a nurse at 31, my sister cheered me on. I remember countless nights discussing course options, finances and just how I was going to make this work. There were days I doubted myself, but Christine never did. Money was tight when I went back to school and Christine and her husband would make a point of inviting me over for supper so I could save money and have more time to study. Actually, Christine's husband Stéphane has also been a huge support my entire life. Christine met Stéphane when she was 17 and I was 7, so Stéphane has been like a brother to me.
When I finally met Pierre, I was thrilled that he got along so well with Christine and Stéphane. Today, we hang out with them every week and a real friendship has developed between Pierre and his in-laws. When we found out we were "reproductively-challenged", Christine was not only a shoulder to cry on, but she also researched IVF, read blogs, and got to know the lingo so she could actively participate in discussions on the matter. When you do IVF you have daily blood tests and ultrasounds and I would always call her with the results. It was so nice not having to explain what everything meant... She already knew whether I would be happy or sad by the results, because she had taken the time to understand.
When we decided to turn to adoption, once again Christine researched the subject and was always the person I could turn to when things got rough. She's advocated for adoption and educated more than a few people on the subject. At one point, her husband jokingly told her as she was reading an adoption blog, "you know, Pierre and Danielle are the ones adopting, are you sure you're not overly involved?" I don't think she would ever have been overly involved. It meant the world to me to have someone other than Pierre who understood what I was going through.
Even while we're in Florida she's helping out by staying with our dogs and taking care of our home. It's not like she doesn't have a whole hectic life either! She stays at our place every night, heads to work, then back to our place to feed the dogs, then to her home to have supper with her husband and son and then back to our place for the night! I don't know many people who would keep this up for a month! She even took pictures of the dogs to send to us when we were home sick.
Since arriving in Florida, I've wanted to get her a gift to thank her for everything she's done for me over the years. Every trinket or sentimental gift I saw was never enough. What do you give the person who has been your rock for over 30 years? I'm not sure anything would be enough. So here, I write this open letter to my sister Christine who, in many ways, gave me the courage and support to make all my dreams come true. Thank you, Christine, for helping us become a family. Thank you for being you. I can only hope Cassie will one day be as lucky as I was to have a sibling like you.