It's been a busy few days, but I finally have a minute to post about our daughter, who, as of yesterday afternoon, is irrevocably OURS! While the adoption won't be legal for several months, the birth mother signed away her parental rights. This means her decision is final and we can breathe again!
So here is the story of How We Met Our Daughter (CBS TV rights pending :-P)
We arrived in Florida early Saturday afternoon. The first person we met coming out of the gate was Emily, a local photographer who lovingly agreed to document the momentous occasion. Emily was at the arrivals gate and almost as excited as we were! To be honest I wasn't nervous until the flight started to make its descent... That's when it hit me that this was really happening. We did a quick round to pick up our luggage and rental car and we were off. Actually, it wasn't very quick as the airline had sent my luggage and the pack-and-play on another flight. Ugh. The airline would ship the missing pieces as soon possible to our hotel.
On the way to the hospital, I called our case worker M. to let her know we had arrived. When she asked if I had the latest information on the baby, my heart almost stopped. She quickly added, don't worry, she's fine! She just had to go to the NICU for low temperature and low blood sugars. I wasn't too worried as this was normal for pre-term babies. It did mean, however, that we might not be able to see the baby today! Legally, we weren't family... yet. :-( so M told us to meet her in the birth mom's room (we'll call her B for birth mom) and we would figure things out from there.
I was terrified of meeting B! What if she didn't like us? What if we said the wrong thing? What if we were too eager to meet the baby or not eager enough? This young women, who we've never met, had so much power over us it was overwhelming. When we walked in the room, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. My first thought when I set eyes on the woman who would make our dreams come true where, "Wow! She's beautiful! No, she's breath taking!" She greeted us with a warm enthusiastic smile and said she was so excited to finally meet us. We were all smiles too! We chatted a few minutes while M went to check to see if we could see the baby. The conversation was awkward and tense for all of us, but I guess that's what happens when you put 3 soft-spoken people in a room together - awkward silence and lots of smiling. :-)
M, our case worker, finally came back to give us the green light to see the baby. Emily the photographer was also ok'd to join us. She had permission to document our first meeting! We walked in to the NICU and saw this little tiny babe who had adorable curly hair and beautiful puckered lips... She was GORGEOUS! We stared at her through the incubator while we waited for a nurse to let us hold her. The wait seemed like forever, although it was probably just a few minutes. Finally, it was time... I got to hold my daughter. The moment was surreal and pretty much a blur. There were so many people surrounding us, I couldn't quite process my emotions. Emily was able to capture some great intimate moments of our first meeting. I was in awe of my daughter, but also scared to love her too much before she was really ours. I passed her to Pierre who had the same look of awe I had.
We didn't stay very long that first day. Honestly, we weren't sure what our role was supposed to be. As much as we wanted to sit there and stare at our soon-to-be little girl, we also wanted to give B as much space as she needed. She was about to make the biggest decision of her life and we wanted her to know we respected her space and rights. I think B was ready for us to take over, though. She immediately signed to give us full permission to be with our daughter any time we wanted.
That night, at the hotel, we didn't sleep much. We both tossed and turned with thoughts of our daughter and what might be. It didn't help either that he missing luggage only arrived at 1 am!
The next morning we headed for the hospital, eager to see our little girl. The day was so much more relaxing without the pressure of on-lookers! We also got to say goodbye to B who was being discharged. She came to see us at the NICU before leaving and saw us interact with the little one. Although I can't speak for B, I think she was happy to see her daughter with her new parents. She seemed at peace with her decision which made us very happy.
We spent the day feeding our little girl, changing diapers, cuddling and simply watching in awe at her. We tried out a few names, but the name we had picked out months ago fit her best. That day she became our little Cassie. We stayed about 12 hours at the hospital that day, but it all went by so fast! That night at the hotel I finally got my first (and likely one of my last) good night's sleep!
The next day we headed back to the hospital and settled into our routine. The nurses and staff were wonderful and instantly started referring to us as "mom & dad". We met with the paediatrician who explained everything that was going on. Cassie was doing great and would likely be discharged later this week. Her feedings were slowly being increased, her blood sugars and her temperature were maintaining and her IV came out. We got to see more of her little face and hold her for longer periods. We were slowly getting to know our little girl.
We talked to our team back at the adoption agency who happily answered all our worried parent questions. They also told us B was coming in to sign away her parental rights. This was it... If all went well, Cassie would be ours before the end of the day!
The text came late in the afternoon. The words just said: "it's signed!" I had to make sure... "Does that mean she's ours? I mean... Not legally, but B can't change her mind, right?" The text that came back said so much: "She's yours. Congratulations mom and dad." My heart raced as I squeezed Pierre's knee: "it's done. She's ours". His face lit up as I my eyes welled up with tears. I couldn't believe we were finally parents. We had waited years for this moment and here it was in all it's simplicity... I looked over at our little Cassie... sleeping soundly in her incubator... content, safe and surrounded by our overwhelming love.