I can't help but gather strength from all the people who support us with their love and kindness. I feel so blessed that everyone who surrounds us also see this as a real loss and something we will need to grieve and morn. I know it's not the same as a miscarriage because I didn't feel her grow inside me, but we loved her, we named her, we bought her clothes, we decorated her room as best we could. We saw the joy on our family and friend's faces because this child was entering our lives. No, she wasn't ours, but for a brief moment we loved her like she was our own.
So now our journey to parenthood continues along it's winding and often bumpy road. We have been through so much in the last three years that you can't help but falter... will we ever be parents? Why must we face so many challenges? I believe in fate, so it's impossible for me not to try and find meaning in this sad event.
This morning, my good friend C. sent me such beautiful words that it made me cry... but also gave me hope: "... and I'm not going to tell you that when one door closes another one opens. You don't have to close your feelings. Just realize how lucky that little girl is to have been born with so much love and expectations from several persons before she even had a chance to stretch her little legs. You've made her more special than many others whom are born in a loveless environment by giving her so much positive vibes and unconditional love."
She is so right... this little girl might not have been ours, but at least, for a brief moment she was loved and wanted by so many people. My friend gave me hope that our love and the positive energy sent by hundreds of family and friends might have made a difference in this little girls life.