Since bringing home our little sweetheart, I've been contacted by six different families looking to adopt from the USA and wanting a personal perspective on Advocates for Children and Families Adoption Agency. With the first few families I spent over an hour writing out our long story, detailing everything I could remember. After the third family I got smart and saved a copy of my email so I could copy and paste our story with ease. Apparently I just got even smarter because now I'm posting my review of Advocates for Children and Families online. :-) When I googled our agency I didn't find much info on them so I think it's nice to have a least one review of their services out there for others to find.
We had a wonderful experience with Advocates for Children and Families (ACF) and can't say enough good things about them. If we were to adopt from the US again, we would use them in a heartbeat! I'll be honest, we got lucky with ACF. We didn't have much to go on except a gut feeling that they were honest and caring. Turns out we got it right.
When we were choosing our agency, I called ALL 20-some USA agencies on the list our provincial facilitator provided to us. I believe the list was all Hague-approved agencies who facilitated outgoing adoptions. Some agencies I called didn't facilitate Canadian adoptions, while others would, but had never facilitated any. It was important for us to work with an agency who had previous experience with Canada. In the end, I found 3 agencies that fit the criteria; one in New York and two in Florida. I eliminate one agency in Florida based on personal beliefs that didn't mesh with the agency's philosophy. What made us decide to go with ACF was partly a good feeling and partly because the bulk of the payments were only required once we got a match. A little about our situation for those who are only reading this post... Prior to starting the adoption process in the US, we had begun work on adopting from Congo. We had to work with two agencies and had to shell out money even before we began. Not long after we started the process, Canada discussed putting a moratorium on Congolese adoptions. Since we weren't far along in the process, it was possible we wouldn't be able to continue. We decided to switch programs because of the significant risk. Unfortunately we were not able to recover the investment we had already made. So having an agency that didn't require a lot of money upfront was very positive for us.
The wait time with ACF was also quite short, although we didn't realise how fast it would be at the time... Of course, when you're waiting it feels like forever!! We completed our provincial paperwork December 2012 and began our home study in late January 2013. Our home study was completed at the end of March and approved by the province at the end of June 2013. Our profile arrived at ACF on July 6, 2013 which meant we were officially on the waiting list as of that date. We got the call for a match August 2, 2013!!! It was ridiculously quick! We were not expecting a match for another year and we're completely shocked. We accepted the match of a baby girl due to be born via c-section on August 13. We made arrangements as fast as we could and headed to Miami on August 12. Unfortunately, the birth mother chose to parent the baby after she was born. We were devastated and heart broken. During this difficult time, the agency was incredibly supportive. The agency director (Ginger) and social services director (Rob) took the time to meet with us and help us through the difficult situation. Rob also met us for lunch before we left. He wanted to get to know us better so he could make the best match possible for us. :-) The lunch we had with Rob really helped us see how much the agency cared about us and wanted to see us with a child more than anything. We also got most of our money back. I think the failed match ended up costing us about $3,000 plus travel expenses... Which in the grand scheme of things isn't all that bad. Even when a match fails, the agency has already put some work into the process (advertising, counselling for the birth mother, legal procedures, etc.) and therefore do have costs associated. It is also my understanding that they take on some of the financial loss as well. While failed matches are difficult, it's a reality with the US program. One thing that reassures me with failed matches is that the agency doesn't coerce the birth mother into placing the child for adoption... Something other agencies have been found guilty of. The agency seems to be in it as much to support the birth mother as to support the adopting family, which I feel is very important.
When we got back home, we decided to put our profile on hold while we grieved our loss. We chose to get back on the list in October 2013. We got the call we'd been matched with our daughter's birth mother a few days before Christmas! Our daughter was born in the early morning of January 31, 2014. Rob called us as soon as he got in the office that morning to tell us the good news. We were on the first flight to Miami the next morning. We went straight from the airport to the hospital where we met our case worker Meg, the birth mother and our beautiful little girl who we named Cassie. Less than 48 hours later the birth mother had terminated her parental rights and she was ours. We ended up staying in Florida for a month while we waited for court orders and her passport. Even though it was expensive to stay a month in Florida, I can't say we minded... Last winter was pretty brutal in Canada! :-) ACF guided us through the entire process of getting us home. Length of stay in Florida depends partly on the courts and partly on your babies health. Our little one had to stay in the neonatal unit an extra week because she had a low birth weight and low body temperature. The legal stuff can't start until the baby has been discharged from the hospital so that added an additional week to our stay.
In terms of communication, I felt they were very good about responding. When we did our initial consultation over the phone with Rob he explained that they would always answer all our questions but the speed at which they did so would depend on where we are in the process. For example, if we just submitted our profile, they might take a day or two to return an email, but if we had just received a match, they would respond as quickly as possible. I can't remember once that it took more than a day to get back to us. And once we were matched, I was texting with several employees at all hours if the day and their responses where almost always instant.
The adoption isn't legal yet as the state of Florida requires that a child be placed in the adoptive parents home for 90 days before you can petition for adoption, but we signed the petition last month and our court date has been scheduled for September. The agency will represent us in court and we can appear via video conference, so no need to travel.
Lastly, there's the question of cost. We don't discuss cost with the general public as it's a personal matter, but if a family is truly looking to adopt with ACF, I will provide them with a breakdown of our costs via email. If you've read my blog before, you'll know the financial aspect of international adoption weighed heavily on me and was one of my biggest stressors. For this reason, I think it's important for families to understand the financial implications. The agency does provide you with an approximate cost, but there are always additional costs you just don't think of such as travel, living expenses while in the US, immigration papers, local lawyer fees, etc. Here is a breakdown by percentage:
- Travel (hotel, car rental, plane ticket-we stayed 1 month): 12%
- Agency costs (legal fees, birth mothers counselling, medical fees, etc): 55%
- Provincial fees/home study(in New Brunswick these are the costs associated with Gentle Path): 7%
- "Detours"(for us this was our failed match cost, failed match travel, Congo program change cost): 25%
- Miscellaneous (immigration, notarization, passport): 1%
Not everyone will encounter "detours", but it's always good to have some money set aside in case it happens to you.
I hope this helps. I know I would have really loved it if someone had broken it down for me. :-) I will say this, while international adoption is expensive, it's surprisingly doable.
I hope my review helps anyone looking to work with Advocates for Children and Families. You can find out more about ACF by visiting their website. If I missed anything, I encourage you to send me an email with your questions.